4-10-1931 ~ 1/22/2009

Two years ago today, we said goodbye to my mother. In the past two years, she has been in my heart, on my mind, around me, guiding me along the journey of life.

This past year has been a whirlwind of searching for and finding her grandchildren that she didn’t know and bringing about the opportunity to come together and meet for the first time…meet siblings, cousins, uncles and aunties…and the great nieces and nephews the chance to meet grandparents, cousins, aunties and uncles…as long as this miraculous bond continues our connection of love ,to and through my mother lives on…

I miss her today as much as ever and am so very grateful that she chose to be my mother and I her daughter.

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” ~Dr. Seuss

Mom, I love and miss you and I am smiling from the depths of my soul!

Christmas 2010

Seasons Greetings ~ 2010

This year has brought a year of unbelievable joy and deep sadness. My mother had a dream that all her grandkids would be together, and that they would meet each other for the first time and she could get to know them and they her, each of them that were siblings and had not met, could. The boys that had children and for reasons beyond her control (or theirs), could have the option of meeting if the wanted…I began the search for all these kids on the weekend we buried our mom.

One year later, this past July, they (almost all of them) gathered at our home. It was a great gathering and we got to see/meet relatives we hadn’t seen in years! Three of the four brothers were here and that was so nice! My cousin Mari (mom’s sister Kay’s daughter), her husband Roger and their son Jason stopped in for a few hours, Jim Bruckman (Mari’s brother) and his wife Susan stayed all day! It was truly an amazing weekend and the wait to see Farmer’s son Art and his fiancé Monica was almost mind boggling! They had one problem after the other crossing the states from AZ to here…they made it before the other kids had to leave. Wow…he is sure TALL!!!! He doesn’t get that from his dad J however, my cousin Jim is tall, so it probably does run in the genes…

All these nieces and nephews brought their kids…we are great Auntie & Uncle to GIRLS!! We so enjoyed getting to know them…the ages are from 5-15…can’t wait to see them all again! Oh ya, the nieces/nephews wanted something to always remember the gathering of dreams…a local tattoo artist came to the house and we all got the same tattoo, a dream catcher (grandmas dream) and the date we gathered…yes, I got one too! The search for my sister continues…

Kevin was called back to work and is working in Wells Nevada. Louanne, Kathy and I took a road trip out to see him…we stopped at the bad lands, Custer park, Yellowstone, Tetons, Wells, Antelope Island, Flaming Gorge, and a million places in between…what a stunning country we live in!

This past year brought some profound losses to our family in a span of a couple months…we said good-bye to Shirley, my cousin Kerry’s wife, Johnathan, Aunt Jo Ann’s son and the last one was Larry Martineau (Bev)…my heart is heavy for the loss yet light with the love they shared and the visions they left behind…Giigawaabamin Miinawaa (see you again in Ojibwe).

We send this note along with wishes for a very blessed holiday

Season ~ may the loving feelings remain throughout the year!

Much Love,

Kevin & Anna

Thanksgiving 2010

Thanksgiving Day~

A day set aside to give thanks and to remember those who are long gone that we are thankful for...As I am looking out the window at the snowy trees and the house is quiet, dogs sleeping, coffee in the pot is brewing, Facebook people are posting their "I am thankful for..." and happy wishes notes, a much deeper thought is forming in my heart...



Yes, I too, am thankful for all my family and friends and for the great day we are about to embark on and for the gathering of family to celebrate...as are most of us.



Today, I am pondering many things...for many years I have cooked for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and all the other "big" days...this year, I am not. My first year that I don't have to send out invitations, rush to the store for last minute menu items, or call the neighbor and beg a bit of ginger...



With Kevin working out of town this year (again), I have been flooded with invites to spend the holiday with them...I have decided to spend it with my brother Donny, his girlfriend Amy and the twins, Jolene and Jesse. The weather has broke and the sky looks crisp and cold in its stunning wintery blue...tomorrow will spend time with my good friend Louanne and bring home yummy left overs!



I am thank full for and to my Creator for the gift of my Spirit that guides me along in my path in this life. For all my good and wonderful friends who support me in my journey, as I support them. To my mother and father for offering to be my earthly parents and for teaching me to pray, to value those around me while showing me a love deeper than any I could imagine until I met my husband, and to my siblings for them being in my life.



This past summer was a celebration of family at our house...we hosted a gathering of nieces and nephews, some that had never met each other and many that I had never met, some that had not seen their fathers since early childhood...they made the trip to spend that weekend at our home, and the brought with them their daughters...WOW...I am a great auntie to a LOT of girls...all I have had in my life (to that point) was great nephews...I must say my heart grew even larger. Our phones have been busy...


Thank you for gifting me with your self in my life! Today, I will be remembering those long gone, less fortunate, working in the service, in the hospital, homeless, and feeling full of thanks for them in my life...

Remember when you are out and about...smile, because you can!

Reflecting

Sun creeping upward

Color jets across the sky

Resting in one~ness

This was a haiku that I wrote for my friend Jan, who is sitting on that rock in Rainy Lake. This was part of our writers retreat week on Mallard Island...hope you enjoyed it...

Love

This is something I wrote for our writers group, the topic was "love" and I wrote this in June of 1994. enJOY!

LOVE

LOVE: 1. A deep devotion or affection for another person or persons: love for ones children.

To ‘love’ someone, does not always mean the opposite sex. A person can ‘love’ a person of any sex. I find, I ‘love’ most everyone I meet. All people have goodness in them, some you just have to look a little deeper to find them. We all have faults. This does not mean we are bad people.

To ‘love’ someone, you must first, find ‘them’.

What does ‘them’ mean you ask? Themselves, their inner goodness, their soul (or spirit). Some people prefer to call it their ‘heart’. A heart is the muscle that pumps blood through the body.

I do not believe you can survive without ‘love’. The soul feeds on it. There are a few things a mind must do, before you can find ‘love’. One of the most important of these is, you must stop looking on the outside. Start looking on the inside. My father always said “Everyone is different, do not judge a person before you have lived their life!” Everyone reacts different to every situation in life. We are either strong in spirit or we are not so strong. The other thing we must learn to do, and it is not always easy. Is to put yourself in their shoes. To do that you must also, spend time with them.

When you can do this, you can start to see ‘them’, and it is beautiful! ‘Love’ has its own way of sneaking up on you. To have ‘love’ in your own family, you MUST learn to forgive, for through forgiveness, is the only way to find true, strong, and everlasting ‘love’. A very dear and loved friend once said to me, “If you only look for the bad in people, that is all you will ever see.” (Thank you RMMKS). My father always said, “Forgiving is the easy part, it’s forgetting that takes forever!” (Thank you Dad, and happy Fathers Day).

So take this within, ‘love’ and be ‘loved’.

I still believe this today...positivity breeds positivity...have a great day and smile, because you can!

Living on the edge...

To jump or not to jump
Is the hardest question

Living on the edge is
Always the best place to be

Jump in to the mystery and be amazed!

Smile, because you can!

I am fine and dandy...she came to say...

As many of you know this was my third summer that I spent a week on Mallard Island in Rainy Lake. I have gone with the St. Croix Writers Group as a writers retreat.
Three summers ago, when our group was on the Island, Dennis, a fellow writer, took me in a canoe and we went around several Islands and I took a ton of pictures! We found this mama Mallard and three babies. As we got a bit closer, one of the babies got stuck in between two rocks and couldn't get out as mama and siblings kept going toward safety. It didn't take long for the little one to free itself, and then was nowhere near the family...Dennis and I felt really bad...he paddled us around until we got behind the mama and two babes.

Slowly, we gently guided them to the single little lost baby. What an amazing feeling that we were able to help this little fuzzy baby...without mom, it was sure to die.

Often over the past two years I have wondered, did that little one survive? Was it a boy or a girl? Sometimes I would surmise that it was a she and that she has had babies and that she was a great mom...dreams, you know...

This year, we were able to be on the Island in July, instead of August! We had a big fire to mark the full moon, we all laughed, shared stories...then the sun sank and the moon was rising...we all grabbed our cameras and headed to the front of the Island so we could see the sunset and the moonrise!



As you can see, it was stunning!!! The moon came up and I only had my 18-55 lens which means, no moon pictures for me! I watched with everyone else and took some shots of the others watching the moon...then a noise in the water begged my attention...slapping her feet on the rock in front of me, close enough for my lens to reach...there stood a mama Mallard and her babies...OMG! I was struck with the feeling that this was the little one we saved two summers ago...she made sure I looked her in the eyes, then they all climbed up the rock and jumped off the other side.






What a true, humble blessing this was...can't wait to share the story with Dennis!!!

Smile, because you can!